It’s been two weeks today since I bid farewell to the 10 stunning women I was so privileged to gather with at my annual Desert Women’s Retreat. I had planned to reflect and then publish my insights, learnings and musings shortly after and yet for some reason, haven’t been able to.
There were so many moments that lent themselves to a very “successful” retreat and agenda and yet the disclosure of them has felt sacred. Too sacred, in fact, to relay without proper time, care and absorption.
As I continue to absorb and process it, I can tell you that my heart is simply overcome with awe and the wonder of it all.
Every year, I gather for a women’s retreat in one of my most favorite locations, the California Desert. I do so within the walls of a now-beloved venue with a staff that has become family. I choose a theme that feels resonant and pertinent and almost always is one that I have personally worked through (or continue to do so). This year was no different – the chosen theme of “Taking Up Space” is both personal and a shared experience.
My intention was to name this common experience that women face of playing small; The act and belief that diminishing ourselves, our abilities, our intelligence, our wisdom, our desires and our light is what is needed to keep us connected, belonging, loved, and seen. We often deem it necessary to ensure that we don’t upset or make others uncomfortable nor risk the heartbreak of not realizing our dreams. But in this quest to belong and to keep others comfortable, we lose ourselves and that hurts. This weekend was about soothing and healing that hurt.
The hurt we experience from playing small shows up in a myriad of ways – physically, relationally, emotionally, financially, mentally. It can leave us drained, sad, lost and resentful and yet, it is in this suffering that we can learn to rightfully and lovingly take up the space we were meant for.
Throughout the weekend, between group exploration, personal introspection, yoga, meditation, play and rest, we explored this experience.
We looked at . . .
❓How does it show up in each of our lives
❓Why is it here
❓Who might we be, and therefore do, if we didn’t feel shackled by this pressure
❓What steps can we take to start to imagine a new way
The content was seemingly heavy yet somehow we were left joyful, hopeful, rested, celebrated and connected. Sure, the programming gave us a structure from which to approach the content but really it was in the honest, powerful, willing, brave, wise and loving (oh so loving!) women that showed up.
Through laughter and tears, fine meals and vino verde, poolside and desert strolling, birthdays and new beginnings, karaoke and meditation, and everything in between, we found so much more.
♥️We got to celebrate a new friend’s milestone birthday.
♥️We got to witness new life in the sweet ducklings that hatched under our noses.
♥️We met one guest in the most serendipitous and divinely-orchestrated of ways
♥️We got to all put our own “skin in the game” in support of another (IFKYK)
Through these and so many other small and magical moments we strung together, we came to know the true meaning of taking up space: that it comes in all shapes and sizes. It can be visible or quiet. In the boardroom or behind the poet’s pen. In the discovery of self at the age 50 or age 30. And it simply means genuinely loving and accepting (and expressing!) our whole selves and in doing so, loving and accepting all others.
We did what we came to do . . . and then we came home with so much more.
We found that we are far more alike than we are different and that a safe and loving community will always breathe life into our dreams and the courage to pursue them . . . And it will always extinguish the doubt. And if given the right community, will have you spitting out your wine in fits of laughter!
To the perfect, precious, wise and soulful women that joined me, THANK YOU.
Thank you for sharing
✨your heart
✨your dreams
✨your curiosity
✨your laughter
✨your poetry
✨your voices
✨your wisdom
✨AND your profound and astounding selves.
I am forever I am forever changed by our time together and love each and every one of you deeply ♥️
May we continue to take up space in our lives lovingly and authentically, and by doing so, give permission for others to do the same.