I love to write early in the morning when my mind is quiet and my thoughts, words and intentions surface. It is spring here in Central Oregon which means it will be 70 degrees one day and then there is snow on the ground the next. This morning we are somewhere in between and while I feel the teasing of the warmth ahead, it is about this time of the year that I begin to yearn for summer; that certain energy in the air, the feel of the sun overhead, the smell of fresh cut lawns and those long, leisurely days.
That word, “yearn” is one I define through feeling, and even at times, physical sensation. I experience it in both, and in big and small contexts. When I do, I feel a very specific energy or spark of hopefulness that is often mixed with a heaviness in my chest; a heaviness that speaks to a tugging.
I have shifted my mindset around such tuggings because I now see them as messages; sweet, sweet messages directly from my heart’s deepest desires. And dang, if those tuggings aren’t one of the main reasons I have a job (a job, incidentally, that had long been my own tug).
I have come to define those “tugs” as Longing – those nudging thoughts, hopes, dreams and desires that we all have, some acknowledge yet few pursue. The reasons we fall into the “some” category are many but those who live in the “few” column can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, this is where their soul breathes.
I am a woman who, for years, was ruled by her unmet longings, unable to pursue them for my own stories and fears. I lived in the purgatory of the “some” category. I could explain the tugging away with reasons of time, bandwidth, and duty. I often heard myself say, “Sure, that’d be nice but . . . “. Yet, something was missing.
Now, I do my best to honor my longings and for the most part, reside in the “few” category. Curiously (or not at all!), I work with women who speak to this same affliction day in and day out and it breaks my heart because I know that suffering well. But it also excites me because I see their souls talking and I know the route there.
Perhaps you, too, can relate? That feeling of stuck-ness amidst a calling for more, even if you don’t know what that “more” is?
That “more” seems complicated too. For one, are we selfish to consider it? What will others think? Often, we need the security of clarity we don’t have before we can even consider it. And it will crush us if it doesn’t come to fruition so best we let it lay. Those were my stories – you may have your own.
But here’s what I have come to know:
Our longings are the roadmaps to our souls, to our purpose and to our calling
Read that again. The tugging you feel; the “more” you know is there; the yearning of something you can’t yet define is the direct line from your soul showing you the way.
If we can do the work to quiet the opposing stories; if we allow for the longing, and can muster the courage to consider them, we will know peace and we will know freedom.
Further, when we live from our longings, the beautiful ripple effect is wide and lasting. Rather than selfish, it is of service to others for our freedom sets others free as well.
And the heartbreak we fear is not from our longings coming to life, but from living a life starved of them.
I now see stuck-ness and the suffering that accompanies it as a gift. It’s a way-finder that will always point us in the direction our soul’s desires.
Where do you feel stuck?
What is it you long for?
Will you grant yourself permission to hear your longing?
Ohhh, I hope you do because life is too short to not live from your deepest desires and highest potential and I want you to shine so radiantly and brilliantly that not only do you come alive, but so does the world.