If you’re a woman of a certain age (ahem… middle or even later-aged), you might remember the poem, When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple. It’s been dancing through my mind lately, gently pulling me back to thoughts of my beloved grandmother—my Gabber. She had a copy pasted to her old refrigerator and it exactly and most lovingly summed her up.
If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ve likely heard me speak of her. She was my guiding light. The one who truly saw me. The woman who lived entirely on her own terms—long before that was something we celebrated out loud.
She was a force. A breadwinner. An entrepreneur. A woman rooted in beauty, joy, and unapologetic truth. And she wore purple.
As I approach the anniversary of her passing nearly six years ago, I find myself reflecting deeply on the way she lived—especially in her later years.
She had earned her life.
Through marriages, motherhood, loss, resilience, faith, and reinvention… she arrived at a place where life softened into something sacred. Her days were filled with simple pleasures: tending her garden, riding her horses, lunching with the ladies, giving back through volunteering. Each morning began with coffee in her favorite chair. Each evening closed with a glass of merlot in that very same spot.
What stays with me most about her is the way in which she found joy and laughter in everything. And I see now that her innate ability to do so set her free. And if you asked her, she would tell you plainly—she earned every ounce of it.
There comes a time in a woman’s life when something shifts. When we move through stages and arrive at a deeper embodiment of self. A place where we become fully expressed, deeply rooted, and no longer willing to abandon ourselves.
In depth psychology, this is often described through three feminine archetypes: Maiden, Mother, and Crone.
The Maiden is young, vibrant, curious, alive with possibility. She explores, risks, and begins the process of individuating and the journey of becoming.
The Mother is expansive in her giving. She nurtures, creates, and holds space—whether for children, projects, ideas, relationships, or community. She is described as selfless, giving deeply . . . sometimes at the expense of herself.
And then… there is the Crone.
The Crone is perhaps the most misunderstood—and the most powerful.
She is not what culture has conditioned us to believe. She tends to emerge during the (peri) menopausal years and unlike past stereotypes, she is not a haggard, shriveled up old woman. She is not diminished nor irrelevant nor past her prime.
In fact, I would argue, she is just now coming into her prime. She is a woman who has come home to herself.
She lives by her own inner authority. She no longer bends to expectation, obligation, or external approval. She listens inward. She trusts deeply. She knows.
And here’s the truth I am witnessing—in myself, in my clients, in women everywhere:
When this phase begins to stir, it can feel… intense. Intimidating. Uncertain. Perhaps even de-stabilizing.
There’s a rising. A rumbling. A quiet but undeniable surge of power that refuses to be silenced any longer.
What you once tolerated becomes intolerable.
What you once dismissed demands your attention.
What you once questioned—you now know.
Clarity sharpens. Boundaries strengthen. Your truth becomes non-negotiable.
(And yes… your tolerance for BS drops dramatically 😉)
But rather than being something we fear (as often encouraged by a youth-driven culture), this is something to honor. Because what’s emerging is not a new version of you — rather, it is the most integrated, truthful expression of who you have always been becoming. The culmination of all of your years, experiences and stages.
This is the work I feel so deeply called to support:
The bridging of who you were… with who you are becoming.
The integration of your Maiden, your Mother, and your Crone.
The reclamation of your power—not as something harsh or forceful, but as something grounded, wise, and undeniably yours.
As I remember my Gabber…
As I watch my Maiden daughter rise…
As I feel my own Crone awakening more fully each day…
I am in awe.
Of women. Of our complexity. Of our resilience. Of our power.
We are not meant to stay small.
We are not meant to stay quiet.
We are not meant to stay who we once were.
We are here to evolve. To expand. To embody.
We are here to wear purple boldly and with pride!
And perhaps most importantly…
To remember that, as the Hopi saying goes, we truly are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
As we move through this month celebrating mothers, may we also honor the Maidens, the Crones, and every sacred phase in between.
Because we are something fierce.
Something wise.
Something extraordinary to behold.
With love and awe,
Xo Jill
