Forgive the morbidity of this question but if you were to die tomorrow, would you be satisfied (happy?) with your life?
This question was posed to me the other day and boy oh by, did it land.
I’ve been thinking about the ways in which my life, and life in general is shaped. What are the markers for satisfaction? For happiness? And have I met them?
You often hear of people in their last days recalling what matters most to them. They’re not thinking of their material gains, their status, their profession or their accolades. They typically report that what matters most is their relationships . . . Did they love and were loved in return well? Did they know connection? And did they live a life true to themselves?
We live in a world that celebrates the other things; the material gains, the status, the packaging and there’s not as much emphasis on the relational and personal connections and fulfillment. As a woman, that becomes even more complicated because the drive and programming to care for, please and not disappoint others leads to much of our decision making and direction.
While all of these things are and can be quite beautiful, they can also steer us farther from our true selves. And being true to ourselves is one significant marker of satisfaction, of a life well-lived.
Listen, this is not a lecture nor intended to make you feel judged in any way. It’s a question that I was asked in genuine curiosity, and the manner in which I ask you, knowing full-well the spectrum of forces that may lead your answer to be “No”.
Perhaps if your answer is “no”, this question is a way to reverse engineer your current place so that your answer becomes a resounding “Yes”.
I came across this analogy years ago and it seems appropriate here. It’s the metaphor of 1 degree turns . . . Imagine you were captaining a ship. If you turned that ship 1 degree, it really wouldn’t change course but if you were to take a 1 degree turn everyday for 30 days, you would end up in an entirely different place.
The way to “Yes” isn’t some giant overhaul of your life. It lies in the small and intentional 1-degree turns. Each small step inevitably leads to a larger one and before you know it, you too are in an entirely different direction. One that feels more true and connected to you and to those you love.
I see so much of the pain we’re facing as individuals, as a nation and as a global community is based in fear. I wonder if we could each make these sweet 1-degree turns to know a more genuine life, if we could eradicate that fear. Thereby know a more connected, loving, respectful and flourishing world and self. That is certainly something I would die happy about.
In curiosity with you and as always, with love.